Salvage work. Picking through the wreckage to save the good bits. I have been doing salvage work for the past 36 months. Now I look around to see the world infront of me because I know what is infront of me is what I am feasting on. In the rawest part of my wrecked like I was not unlike a filthy gangly vulture using only my instincts and my mangled black beak to feast on the roadkill my life had become. At that time, right after my husband died, I did not have access to any other skills. Most of my other abilities had completely deserted me. So I noirished myself this way as a pure act of survival.
I am better now.
I am am artist. I enjoy making new things. I seek beauty oout at every turn. I am not always industrious and I have had to come to oeace with this. I am loving. I can be emotional. I have exorcised this trait quite often in these last 36 months. I have hd to figure that out too. Understanding I am NOT my emotions was the first step to my salvation. Separating my essential self this way from the energy that is my feelings has raised the speed at which I was able to heal.
I look around me to see what I make time for in my actual life has because I know what I make time for creates my new lif. I ised to make time for rumafing around the sad parts of being me. I ised to make time for weeping uncontrolably necaise I knew ot was jealong energy at work. Inised to make time for contacting all my friends and loved ones to make sure I was staying connected to them.
I still do some of these things, but now I am making time for more meditation to male sire I am staying in contact with that which is cenrtal to my neing. It is this my new life is craving right now.