“Unknowing, if one can be open and vulnerable, will take us down to the very deeps of knowing, not informing the mind but coursing through the whole body, artery and vein–provided one can thrust aside what the world calls common sense, that popular lumpen wisdom that prevents the emerging of the numinous.” ~ Pamela Travers
I am living in spite of myself. I am doing things I would never do, yet I do them, in spite of all I have come to know about who I am. Is this reasonable?
Often lately I find myself appreciating, then allowing, then being with an unfolding me – in spite of the me I have always known myself to be. Is that reasonable?
Am I not sure of who I am and what I prefer? How can I operate in the uncertainty of what is or is not to come? There seems to be no grounding here, no relative center in this way of being. It feels quite like the floor of a fun house – shaky, slippery, and curved. Oh… I am getting nauseated just thinking about it!
It is here at the dark edge of the mystery I find myself. And all I can do is live it – trusting if I follow the light it will take me out to the other side; trusting that Love will not only be waiting for me there – but that Love will have been moving along with me, in me and all around me all the time.
Knowing this is what gives me the sound footing I require. Knowing this informs my emerging self that it is OK to feel awestruck, terrified and touched by grace all at the same time.
Is this sound? Is this reasonable?
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Theresa Hamilton says
Sounds reasonable to this chick who is also on shakey ground.