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Original Watercolor Paintings

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The Joy of Obstinance

May 28, 2014 · Leave a Comment


No! I don’t want to! No! I will not! These are the things I say to myself when I am feeling completely obstinate. It is a feeling of standing still and strongly opposing that which is said to be important or otherwise necessary. Well I do not care what they say, I am not going to go along. I am going to make a grimace with my lips while I grit my teeth and furrow my brow! I am clinching my fists and being a big fat baby and saying, “No way, not me, not now, no how!”


Is this something bad? Let’s take another look. How often are we standing strongly? How many times are we so sure – down to our marrow – about something? Isn’t this kind of attitude a clue telling us something about ourselves and the way we see our world? 

What if we maintain the same kind of strong stance but unclinch our fists?

What if we stop judging it from the outside and begin to look inside and underneath the experience? 

I find by doing this then somehow the thing and I are transformed. It is becoming more true that the thing I ENJOY not doing becomes my JOY in doing of the other. In accepting my stubborn stance I see the opposing side has become my friend. It shows me the way. And then – the strangest thing of all happens – the opposing thing just dissolves – POOF – and I am left in peace.

Turning things “outside in” like this is a new habit I am forming. Leaving off JUDGMENT for OBSERVING is the  essence of this new practice. Yes, I still go thru the usual angst of being human and not liking a place or a situation. But taking a moment to become a witness and really look at a thing is “good stuff making.”

Have you ever turned things around? I would be curious to hear about it.

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Lani received a B.F.A from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1986 and earned a B.A in Art Education from NCCU in 2000.
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