I am hoping this day finds you well and well loved in your lovely abode. I wrote this about one year ago. Seems appropriate to revisit it for I am feeling like I am here again – at square 1 – today.
February 10, 2013
I am approaching the beginning of week 3 of experiment Lani. I am finding that a planned activity – just one mind you – for each day is a must have.
It allows the illusion of accomplishment.
And lends structure. I choose this “task” before going to bed the nite before.
And I have optional tasks I can add if the mood suits. The objective is to keep moving toward my goal – at a pace that fits me well, leaving room for flexibility and miracles.
What is my goal, you may be asking yourself? I ask myself this regularly because I ache to move on, Beats me! “Healing” comes to mind. I wish I had more clarity, but it is not to be at this time. “Ask again later,” says the magic 8 Ball that has become my life. Not so bad really, just different than before.
Different than before my husband got sick. Different than before I helped my husband die. Different than before I quit my job. Different than before I was forced to look within because everything without is so… so… different.
January 22, 2014
A few things have changed. Most days I let flow w/o needing to accomplish something. I sometimes have multiple tasks per day and I sometimes have no tasks and am accepting of this.
I have an inkling I am going to teach again, but the initial enthusiasm is meeting with some resistance…more will be revealed! I have built in some external supports to help me along…but sure could use more support!
What is the same is the knowledge that everything is definitely different than I have ever known before.
Viva la difference – perhaps?
How are you different from a year ago?
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