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Attachment

January 13, 2014 · Leave a Comment

“By extending our ordinary feelings of love and concern beyond their usual biased limits, love is freed from the restrictions of attachment.” ~ HHDL


Finding attachment to be the source of many of my tears, I am intrigued by this quote. Grieving loss or Fear of losing something to which I am attached appears suddenly childlike today. I am thinking of a pacifier, a blanket… or a husband perhaps?

As an adult you would think we would give up these attachments because we see children go thru so much suffering when they want something very badly. Or when they have the thing they love and it falls from their mouths or arms or is otherwise misplaced.

And we work very hard to break them of these attachments because they are “growing up” and should learn to let go of such things. 

The first day of school can be a challenge for some children (and parents) very attached to eachother. But we do the HARD work necessary to train detachment so our children can become independently functioning beings. Is this what is meant above by “love is freed from restrictions of attachment”?

What are these “biased limits”? I wonder if they are those external things that we think we NEED to make us happy, feel secure and otherwise soothe us. Who is there to help us adults do the hard work of letting go here? 

Perhaps I can use meditation to extend my ordinary feelings of love and concern beyond their biased limits to become more open-hearted and a little freer from suffering!

Yes – this is more hard work. But it has all been hard these last 18 months since Michael died. Why should this be any different? 

I do admit though – I sure could use a vacation from the work of being me. The work of managing my sorrow and cultivating my future by actively staying awake in the present. That must be why I imagine loving again – in this new way – a detached way. 

Can Loving get easier?

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Lani received a B.F.A from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1986 and earned a B.A in Art Education from NCCU in 2000.
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