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Good Grief

February 18, 2015 · Leave a Comment

“You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation… and that it is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.” ~hermann hesse

Grief has sculpted me over these last 2 1/2 years. It has been my permission slip, my way in and out and through things. Lately though I have been taking note of the many moments I am “clean & sober” feeling good and in life’s pocket again, without feelings of grief.

Having become so accustomed to feeling deeply pangs of deep sorrow, this now is strange. Comforting Grief connects me with he who is lost. But more so even, Grief has introduced me to my viscera – my deep feeling self. And I like being connected like that! 


Giving up Grief may actually be like quitting a substance that I have come to know and been most seductively soothed by. I am suddenly aware that letting go may be a challenge.

Stepping out from under this big black umbrella seems to be what is called for right now. I really can’t waste another moment. I must become a responsible veteran of these “my griefy wars!” I want to own my own present experiences – taking on the world directly without the veil of Grief, without an excuse…but not without a net! 

No need to be a daredevil. 

Can I stay connected without Grief? Is there a practice 
i can put into action that will slide elegantly into grief’s place?
So I am on the hunt to identify that thing that will be my entry point into the deepest parts of myself. I will let you know when I have found it! I think I know what it is already…and if you have been following me for a bit you may know too! 

How do you keep connected?

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Lani received a B.F.A from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1986 and earned a B.A in Art Education from NCCU in 2000.
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